


listening to the lost

by retrosas



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Gen, age reversal au, akaashi is a senpai trying to senpai, coming of age???, he's doing his best, high school akaashi, im not over bokuto being left behind ok, middle school bokuto, platonic but can be read otherwise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:21:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24005800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/retrosas/pseuds/retrosas
Summary: When Bokuto gets left behind by his teammates during a run, he finds himself lost in an unfamiliar area with all sorts of emotions inside him. By chance, he meets a high schooler on a run as well, and Bokuto grows up a little.Age Reversal AU + Based off chapter 335 + bkak day may version
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji & Bokuto Koutarou
Comments: 4
Kudos: 23





	listening to the lost

**Author's Note:**

> edit 05/06: added a bit of smth at the end and fixed some formatting, nothing much :') 
> 
> happy bokuaka day, may edition! (5/4)
> 
> this is just a plot bunny that's been in my head for a while now hehe it's kind of messy imo but since it's mostly bokuto pov I think it fit!! also im on mobile again so I hope the formatting looks okay huhu 
> 
> this is platonic bokuaka but can be read otherwise :') 
> 
> hope yall enjoy :))

Bokuto was, without a doubt, lost.

He's been taking the same route for his team jogging ever since his first year of middle school, but this seemed to be the first time he's ever ended up in this area. It was residential still, so he knew he didn't stray too far from his original path, at least.

But he knew that this slope was one he hasn't taken before, and he knew he didn't pass any rivers during said runs. 

He kept jogging, his pace slowing down as he surveyed his surroundings. He really had no idea where he was, and based on the lack of heavy breathing and footsteps behind him, he thinks his teammates must have stopped and decided to look around too.

Slowly, he came to a halt, jogging in place instead. He turned around, "Oi, guys final three laps. Let's–"

And saw nobody behind him.

He looked around him, trying to see if maybe his teammates were hiding behind all the big unfamiliar trees from that curve they just made. Or maybe behind the arc of the bridge they passed earlier?

Jogging slowly, he tried to retrace his steps. He checked out the trees, stepping a little beet into the grassy lands before checking the houses and the bridge he passed by. He checked under the cars too (because what if they shrunk and became ants?) and a convenience store, because hey, it's not bad to buy some ice cream! (Bokuto's done it, so it wasn't a far off possibility. Ah, but coach doesn't know that...) 

He traced back even further, coming to a stop light and entering the more city-like aspect of town. Some buildings were starting to take over the houses, and the trees were decreasing. 

But there was nobody. 

Well, nobody from his team, at least. He was surrounded by people, both in school uniforms and not. But seeing that he was the only one in his PE uniform and not being familiar with these other uniforms (he knew what schools were close to him!) meant that, yes, indeed, he was very wholly lost. And alone. 

His chest ached and he frowned. 

Well that's. That's okay, he's been lost before. A lot of times, actually! He just has to retrace his steps again, yeah, he's done that! And if he can't, his mother always told him to call her up on a nearby payphone. He made sure to memorize her work number for it because it's happened a lot, so he wasn't worried! 

His teammates though... he worried for them. Where did they go? Are they lost too? If they were lost too, don't they need their captain? He leads their daily runs so like...if he wasn't there, wouldn't that make him a bad captain? 

Aaaaahhh. He can hear the jeers and scoldings of his team and coach again. 

"Captain, you're such a scatter brain!" 

"Bokuto-kun, please get your self together. Come on, let's continue with practice." 

His chest ached again and she shook his head. Yeah, he'll probably be made fun of and get the scolding of his life for losing his team, but he can deal with that later. For now, he has to find them!

* * *

He was about to check another convenience store when a familiar face passed his peripheral vision. He whipped his head and saw the back of a head, a head he was very familiar with. Three heads, actually.

It was three of his teammates! Bokuto beamed. He wasn't a bad captain after all, he found his team!

He was about to run to them and follow them in the store, grin growing wider as he weaved through the people on the sidewalk. When he was near enough to yell and be heard, he stopped. Gold eyes widened as Bokuto realized that they were no longer wearing their PE uniforms. They were already in their normal black school uniforms, and from their wet hairs, it looks like they already showered too.

The ache in his chest grew stronger, and Bokuto felt his energy drain in one wave. His arms, raised to get attention, slowly lowered themselves as he watched his teammates buy ice cream and fall in line to pay. He could hear his heart ringing in his ears when he saw two more of his teammates enter the same store, greeting the first three and talking before they too, bought their own drinks and ice creams.

Something gripped at his heart as the beating increased loudly in his ears. He took a shaky inhale, and turned around.

Then, without looking back, he ran.

He ran faster than he ever did for his daily run, and he was breathing harder than he did for matches. He ran aimlessly, not saying sorry to anyone he's hit (which were a lot of people). His posture was improper, he knew, but he kept running. His breathing was not regulated, but he kept pressing forward.

His head was throbbing and he felt like he wanted to scream and cry, but he also didn't have the energy to do any of those. He only had enough energy to run, and so he did. He ran and ran, his head empty but hurting in time with his heart.

He wasn't sure what he was feeling. He knew what he saw and what that meant. He tried not think about when or how it happened, but his mind was conjuring up situations and conversations he wasn't sure were real. His ears could hear voices he wasn't sure actually spoke. 

He can hear himself as he yelled, "Let's pick up the pace!" 

Then, he heard other voices. 

"He's sure going all out... "

"Yeah, he's way too into this." 

"Hey, let's take a short cut!" 

Bokuto wasn't sure what was real anymore. Did those conversations really happen? Or was he hearing things again? It won't be the first time, he knows his mother thinks he hears things that aren't there sometimes, but he insists were real.

Yet, something inside him was telling him that those _were_ real. That he noticed the slowly lessening footsteps and heavy breathing behind him, but he was too focused on his own running to clearly make sense of it. 

Was he angry? Was it because he didn't notice? Wait, did that make him a bad captain, for not noticing how tired his members were... wait, or was he mad? Was he tired? He has been running for a while and more...

He tried to think, for once, like do the thinking his coach told him to do outside of volleyball. He's _really_ trying! But he was at a loss, like, _literally_! His headache was getting worse as he tried, but he was coming up blank and just running harder. His head was trying to come up with something solid to think about, but it was becoming a messy hodge podge of things as he let his feet take him wherever. 

Vaguely, he noticed that he was back in the unfamiliar residential area he was at around half an hour ago. He was going down the slope again, this time finishing the trail of it when his lungs started to burn. Ah, right, his breathing wasn't regulated, he forgot to, he was too busy thinking but his thinking was coming up blank but he still kept running. If Bokuto stopped running, he felt like he'd get even less thinking done and he'd feel his chest ache again, and he knew if he felt it again, then he wouldn't be thinking well! 

So he kept running. 

* * *

He realized that the slope and the river was near a park, and that there was a high school nearby. He saw a team on their own run, a team with way more members than his own, and they had a cheer too. The captain led the team, and he looked big and strong, his back facing Bokuto as he watched from afar. 

_'I wanna be like that,'_ He thought, as he continued his run. It was his first coherent thought during the entire afternoon. He slowed down, watching the captain lead the team around the school and slowly make their way to the park and the bridge over the river. He slowed his pace, going instead for a light jog as he watched them make two laps around their courts before making their way to the park and the bridge. 

He's done two rounds of light jogging with them passing by him unknowingly, and he couldn't help the wide eyed respect he was giving off as their captain barked out their cheer and called for more energy. Up close, he didn't look like much, with the standard black hair most Japanese had. But to Bokuto, he was strong and big and... and _captain material._ His shirt was slightly fitted at the top, stretching a bit around his shoulders. He had elbow pads and one knee pad snug around his left knee. Gold eyes focused on the number 1 on his back, and the bar underlining it. 

The captain passed him twice, and each time, he yelled out in a booming voice to the people behind him. As he yelled, he didn't look back. Yet, the people responded in kind, some even more energetic than their plain looking captain.

Bokuto couldn't help but be in awe of the display. To them, it was normal, but for him, a simple middle school volleyball captain, it was so much more.

The high school team finished after those two rounds, but Bokuto remained watchful. He watched them slowly jog back to their gyms, some collapsing by the fountains while some crashed on the grass. He slowed to a walk himself, keeping his attention focused on the captain as he heaved, but kept his smile on and even managed to laugh.

Bokuto couldn't help the awed whisper he let out. "So cool..." He gulped. "Such a cool captain..."

"Yes, I agree."

His head snapped to look behind him, seeing an unfamiliar face. He was dressed in the same black, white and gold jersey the captain wore, and was jogging in place. He wasn't as bulky as the captain, but Boktuo can see the lean muscle forming on his arms. He had messy black hair and some.... blue? green? eyes looking at Bokuto questioningly. "Who are you?"

The stranger raised a brow. "I should be asking you that. You don't look like you're from here, or a high schooler."

Bokuto gulped, gold eyes darting to the side. "What...what makes you think that?"

Still jogging in place, the stranger pointed a bandaged finger to Bokuto's uniform. "That's the PE uniform for Ushimi Middle, right? That's pretty far from here."

The gulp Bokuto let out was louder this time, if not a little comical. He bowed at the waist immediately. "I'm sorry for intruding, senpai! I swear I'm not a stalker or a spy! " 

"I didn't say any of that..." The stranger gulped, looking confused. "Put your head up, no need to bow so deeply like that. I was just curious why a middle schooler is here."

"I–" Bokuto grumbled. "Well, what's a senpai doing out here alone?! I'm just lost after a run, but what about you, are you lost too?!" 

The upperclassman chuckled. "You just admitted you're lost, I see." Bokuto flushed at his slip up. "And I'm also on a run," the stranger pointed at his still moving feet, "See?" 

Bokuto blinked, changing focus at what he heard. "You're still jogging? But wasn't that your captain a while ago? Or were you late and had to do laps?" 

"Neither. I can't participate in practice today so I decided to run some more instead. Gives me something to do." 

"Can't participate? Why not?" 

The stranger flexed his hands, which, now that Bokuto looked, were bandaged at different parts. Both hands hand the fingertips bandaged, but the right hand has the pinky and ring finger stuck together with a splint. The left wrist was also wrapped in a pink bandage. Then, the stranger lifted his arms, showing the right elbow also wrapped in a pink bandage. Bokuto blinked. 

"Did you get in a fight? That's a lot of bandages!" 

"No, they're all from volleyball." 

"Volleyball?" Bokuto blinked again. Then, his eyes grew wide. "Wait, so you guys were the volleyball team?! Really?!" The stranger nodded, looking confused, but Bokuto didn't notice. He threw his arms up and grinned. "That's so cool! Your captain is so cool! He's even cooler than I thought!" 

"Did... did you not know we were the volleyball team?" 

"Nope! I just knew y'all were part of some sport, but not volleyball!" 

"Huh..." The stranger breathed out, a brow raised as he looked confused. Then he shrugged. "Well, I'll be on my way. Just because I won't have training doesn't mean I should slack off." He began quickening his jogging in place. "I hope you make it back safely."

The stranger gave a short nod and began to jog ahead of Bokuto. On an impulse, Bokuto turned around and followed the upperclassman. "Wait, senpai, can I jog with you?" 

Again, the stranger stopped to jog in place. "Shouldn't you be going home soon? It's quite late."

"It's okay, I'll call my mom later, she'll pick me up around here!"

"But what about your school things?" 

"I–" Bokuto bit his lip, looking down. He... didn't think of that. He forgot his uniform and his homework were still at school. 

From the stranger's perspective, the younger's hair seemed to droop to both sides. His golden eyes were wide, slightly dark but focused on the ground in front of him. The stranger sighed. "What's your name?" 

Bokuto's head shot up. "What?" 

"Your name. I need to know my jogging partner's name if I'm going to be responsible for him."

"Ah...Bokuto. Bokuto Koutaro. Third year middle school. Ushimi Middle. "

"Bokuto-san, then. I'm Akaashi. First year high school. Fukurodani." Akaashi nodded and faced front again. "Nice to meet you. This will only be a light jog, so let's not push ourselves too hard. You look like you've run a marathon already." 

Bokuto blinked, looking at the senior. He pouted a little. _'He's so mature...'_ He started to jog, keeping a small distance between them. "Thank you, Akaashi-senpai." 

"Sure." Akaashi nodded, keeping his face forward. 

They continued in silence at a pace Bokuto found to be slower than his usual. However, after basically, in Akaashi's words, running a marathon, he found it to be an okay pace. It wasn't too light for him, but it was light enough to not cause any more burning feelings in his lungs. He had enough air to take in, but he could still work up a sweat and get moving. 

From the slope, they jogged downhill and made their way around the park twice. Bokuto kept a little distance from the other, feeling strangely shy to be in someone's presence. He knew he wasn't like this, but he couldn't help but feel like a bother on the upperclassman. He felt like he was being watched over, even though the other was in front of him. Every now and then Akaashi would eye him, but wouldn't speak. 

Bokuto didn't really know what to say either, but he felt like he should be saying something. He was intruding after all. But nothing came up his throat or in his mind! Unconsciously, he pouted. 

After the park, they climbed up the slope, and then went down the other end to make their way to the river. Bokuto noted how the sky began to change colors around them, and watched how the rays of the sun shone slightly on Akaashi's shoes. 

He saw the elder slow down as they neared the river bridge, his jog slowly decreasing to a walk. Then, he got to the middle of the bridge, and leaned over the railing. He bent his head to look at the river, but he continued shifting his weight from one leg to the other. 

Bokuto caught up, but didn't lean over the rails. He jogged in place, eyes following what Akaashi was looking at. He blinked when he saw that the other's eyes were closed.

"I thought you were looking at something down there..." 

"No, I'm just taking a breather. This is where I usually come to when I'm about to finish." Akaashi inhaled. "I love the smell of the river, and at this time, the sky looks beautiful and reflects on the water."

Akaashi moved slightly and let Bokuto see how the sunlight and the sky's hues reflect slightly on the calm water surface. He looked to the other, who was still breathing a bit heavily from his own exercise. The rays of the sun bathed Akaashi in a warm light, and the colors of the sky framed his sweaty self nicely. 

If Bokuto weren't so distraught, he felt like he would've reacted differently. Instead, he stared and felt something clench at his heart again, and he finally felt like his mind was working again. 

"I was left behind by my team." Bokuto began, without preamble. "I got lost and ended up here. I tried to find them but then I saw that they left me and went on home ahead."

Akaashi kept his eyes closed and kept his face facing the river. "Why were you left behind?" 

"I don't know. I think it's 'cause I'm too much." 

"Too much?" 

"Like... too much. Too sad. Too happy. Too... _much_."

"So they can't handle you?" 

"I think so?" He shrugged. "I didn't ask. I just heard them, I think." 

Akaashi hummed. "You don't sound so sure of what you heard. And why didn't you ask, I thought you saw them?" 

Bokuto shrugged, then stopped jogging in place. Something in his throat clogged, and he exhaled. He settled for shifting his weight from one leg to the other as he leaned his side on the rails. His heart was pounding in his ears again, but his head didn't hurt like before. Things were clearing up in his mind's eye, but the pain in his chest remained. He thought back to the revelation he had earlier. 

_'I'm alone.'_

"They looked happy. Without me. After leaving me." 

"Looked happy?" 

"Yeah, like... They didn't look lost, you know? They were all in groups, yeah, but they were smiling and all. Buying ice cream. You only buy ice cream with people that make you happy, right? With friends. And they just came from a shower too, their hairs were wet." Pause. "They looked happy that they left me." 

Akaashi opened his eyes, but still didn't meet Bokuto's. "How did you feel about it?" 

And there's the question Bokuto's been thinking about since earlier. Was he mad? He wasn't sure. Was he sad? He thought so. Was he tired? Something like that. 

He wasn't sure what he felt, but he didn't like it. 

' _I'm alone. I'm lost and alone.'_

So, he settled with: "I feel lost. And alone." 

Finally, Akaashi turned to look at him. He didn't say anything, though, but Bokuto felt worse and better all the same and something about the sun and Akaashi compelled him to keep talking. 

"My old coach used to say to not think about what's easy. He always said to think about what's fun, and I like that thinking!" Bokuto grinned for a while, then his grin grew small until it was a small smile. "But I know not everyone likes that I think like that. I know my teammates don't always like me being extra and moody, but I'm the captain so they deal with it. I'm happy they do but it still sucks we don't think the same."

Bokuto looked to his feet, and kicked a stray rock. "I just wanna have fun. I wanna be a pro volleyball player one day and have fun. I wanna win them all, and save all the balls that I can get. But for them..." Bokuto sighed. "This isn't the same for them."

He always knew things were different between him and his teammates. It wasn't until now that he's had the chance to clearly think about things. It wasn't until he was left behind physically that his mind began to work on itself and think about things while in the company of a stranger. The thoughts he had earlier that were in disarray organized themselves into the simple and few words he can manage to speak. He was never a words guy, he was always an action guy, so this was taking a lot out of him internally. 

"I don't think they hate me," Bokuto began slowly, "But we don't feel like a team. And now that they left me behind it just feels more real that we aren't." He sighed. "Yeah, we win games, but then we don't hang out much. _They_ hang out but not... not _we_. It's. _They_." 

"Do you resent them?" 

Bokuto looked at Akaashi. "What's resent?" 

Akaashi looked at him. "It's like hate." He spoke, slow but firm. Not judging, but curious. "Do you hate them for it?" 

The younger stewed over the elder's question. He pouted. "I... I don't think so. I'm not sure." 

"Do you want them to not do this again?" 

"Yeah!" Bokuto answered without hesitation, but then he began to deflate on himself. "But I know they don't like the extra laps I wanna do... I don't wanna force them to do something they don't wanna do... but I wanna get stronger with them.... but they don't wanna get stronger like I wanna get stronger, you know?" 

Akaashi had his brows furrowed, and Bokuto worried he wasn't making sense again. He knew his old upperclassmen used to think that he didn't speak well, so he wouldn't be surprised. 

He was surprised, though, when Akaashi nodded, brows still furrowed but eyes still open to his. "I… kind of understand what you mean," Akaashi began, "Have you...talked to them about it?" 

Bokuto shook his head. "Nah. They'll probably just brush me off as being moody and emo again, so nevermind."

Akaashi's brow furrowed further. "But communication is important in a team, isn't it?" 

"Yeah but they never got me. Or I think I'm just bad at it. I get down so fast and so… random. Same with being all hyped up in matches. It's…" Bokuto grumbled, feeling himself get down again. "It's too hard. And besides, what's the use when this was supposed to be my last practice as a third year?" The last sentence had more bite than Bokuto expected, but he kept his Ground. He remembered how this was supposed to be the day he gave his super motivational speech, but he's lost that chance and won't be able to do it again anytime soon, if at all ever. 

"Ah, yes, it's that time of the season," Akaashi hummed again. "Then, what do you plan to do now?" 

"Do… now?" 

"Yes. Do now. Will you ever tell your teammates how this made you feel? What about your future teammates, will you tell them these?" 

"Probs not," Bokuto shrugged, hanging his upper half on the railing. He soaked up the coolness it gave and his pout turned into a full blown frown. The negative emotions were building up inside him clearer now, and he doesn't like it. "What's the point of telling them if they might not even talk to me again? They left me behind, remember?" 

"But you're the captain, aren't you?" Akaashi asked. "You still haven't resigned, because you're here with me right now. So, technically, you still have the power over them. Talk to them, and see where it goes." 

"What if goes bad? I bet it will." 

"Then it goes bad." 

"Hah?!" 

Akaashi's eyes were firm as they stared into his gold ones. "If it goes bad, then it goes bad, Bokuto-san. We can't control how they feel. But you," he paused, "You have to communicate with them. You have to tell them your side and they have to hear you out. It's better for you to let it out than let it fester in you."

"Fester?"

"Like, letting it live in you. Control you. It's not a nice feeling being controlled by the feeling of being lost and alone, right?" 

Bokuto thought back to earlier in the day, when in his confusion and (what he now realized was) pain, his body reacted by trying to run him to the ground and depriving his lungs of proper breathing. "Yeah, it feels like shit. It made me run more than I usually would. Now I'm hyped and feeling like shit." 

Akaashi frowned at his crass language, but said nothing. "Well, what about the future?" 

"The future?" 

"Yes. Your future team. What about then?" 

"What if I don't go join a team and just play volleyball alone? That seems better." Bokuto clicked his tongue, hair drooping again as he felt the self hate and all the other bad feelings he doesn't like crawl up his spine. "If I'm alone then I don't have to worry about other people and what they think of me. Or what I have to be like with them. If I'm alone then I'm fine." 

"Will you really be fine, Bokuto-san? You were alone earlier on. Were you fine then?" 

Bokuto heard Akaashi speak with a flat tone of voice, but it sounded so hateful and, and mean to him that he let out a small growl. "I was! I just couldn't think so I ran!" 

"And why did you run?" 

"Because I couldn't think!" 

"And why couldn't you think?" 

"Because… because…" Bokuto couldn't help the frustration building up with all the other stuff he felt at that moment. He felt his eyes grow warm then felt tears form. He took a shaky inhale. "Because I _wasn't_ fine. I ran because I felt like shit. And I don't wanna feel like shit again. And I know people feel like shit when they're with me, so it'll work out better for everyone if I just went away and nobody tossed to me or played with me." 

Akaashi kept his eyes on Bokuto, but the younger didn't mind. All the feelings he's having were eating up at him, and he was getting annoyed and sad all at once. He wanted to hide again until he was okay, but he couldn't do that right now. 

He knew Akaashi was trying to help, and he felt touched someone was actually sticking around for his emo moment, but he was also just. So done with it all. 

"I don't get it. We're a team but they're _they_ and it's not _we_ so I'm _I_ and it's...It's getting lonely and I don't like being alone. I wanna have fun but I don't wanna be alone too."

Bokuto felt his voice crack and he tried to keep the tears in. He succeeded, but he couldn't help the shaky breaths he had. 

Then, Akaashi spoke, his voice no longer flat and instead it was warm. Somewhat. 

"Not all teams will be friends, Bokuto-san, and that's the sad truth." Akaashi smiled sadly, and Bokuto's eyes widened. "In your words, some teams are just a lot of people, a lot of _I_ 's. But some teams are more than _I_ , they're _we_. They're friends. And it's not bad when they're not friends. It's how things are. You can't be friends with everyone in your class or your year, right?"

Bokuto nodded. 

"It's the same with volleyball. With teams. Some become friends, but not everyone. And it's," Akaashi paused, "It's not a very nice feeling, but you're still growing. Volleyball is a team sport, and you can't play alone. You need all six on the court, and the others on the bench. From what you've been saying, I'm sure you're going to continue in high school, and in high school especially, you need to communicate."

"But...it's hard. It's hard to communicate when nobody wants to listen and I can't. I can't _think_ and _words_ even to myself." And that's the problem, wasn't it? People can't listen to him because he was too much and he can't be listened to because he can't even hear himself sometimes. He's too much even for himself and he knows his mother said it all begins with him… how can he begin anything when he can't begin with himself even? 

"That's okay." Akaashi said, taking him out of his thoughts. "It's okay to be bad at it. What's important is you try. People will never know to listen if you don't try. And if they still don't want to listen, that's okay too. At least you tried, and you spoke." Akaashi's smile grew warm. "We're communicating now, aren't we? And you're thinking and speaking now, yes?" 

Something felt light in Bokuto. He wasn't sure where or what as he felt his eyes widen and his mouth. "We… we are?" 

"Yes. I'm listening to you, and waiting for you to speak. I know you're thinking, and I'm not very good at communicating either, but I know you're trying. I know you're doing your best to think and put your feelings into words, so I'll do my best to hear you out. To let your message come across to at least someone."

"To...let my message come across…" Bokuto repeated. "My… feelings? Thoughts? Are those the message?" 

"Something like that," Akaashi chuckled. "It's hard, but it's helping, isn't it? To let it out and talk?" 

Bokuto didn't say anything, gold eyes focused on the upperclassman in front of him. Something cleared in his mind, and the harsh sounds of his heartbeat in his ears quieted down a little. His throat no longer felt clogged, and somehow, the sun seemed to shine brighter. At the same time, his energy felt drained out of him. The emo mode he felt coming on washed out, but things still were quite okay. 

"Do I always have to feel lost and alone to… to communicate like this? To words my thoughts?" 

"Hmm… I'm not sure about that," Akaashi replied, "But knowing that you felt that and you telling me that is a step forward at least."

Bokuto felt the beginnings of a big smile coming up. "Yeah!" Then, he traced back their conversation. "Hey, Akaashi-senpai, you asked about the future, right?" 

"Yes?" 

"I think…" Bokuto began, "I think I'd hope first I get a team like yours. You seem like you have the the kind of team that listens to people, like your captain. Maybe it's because your captain is cool?" 

"Ah, yes, Captain is very admirable," Akaashi nodded. "He's very plain looking, but he's very good at what he does, and he's very approachable. He's also very hardworking and supportive, and he's also very competitive when he needs to be. He does a very good job at motivating everyone as well." 

Bokuto didn't really understand some of the words there, but he understood it meant that the captain was a great guy. "And he hears you out, right?" 

"He does. We, too, hear him out. It goes both ways after all." 

"So would you say you guys are friends outside of the courts too?" 

Akaashi paused for a while. Then, he replied, "Not with all of them, but yes, I'd like to think so."

"It doesn't bother you that you're not friends with everyone?" 

"No, not really. We don't hate each other, and we work well together on court. We can't force ourselves to hang out if we can't, and that's okay with us." 

"Heeeh…" Bokuto whistled. "I guess I'll also be that mature when I'm in high school huh…man, I'm not ready." 

Akaashi chuckled, and this time Bokuto felt it boost his depleting energy a bit. Then, Akaashi's face grew a bit stern again. "But sadly, Bokuto-san, we can't always choose our teams. I hope you still try even if you end up with a team that isn't what you hoped for."

Bokuto thought he would feel down at the words of his upperclassman. It sounded scolding after all. To his own amazement though, he felt like laughing. And he did. 

There was nothing funny about what Akaashi said, but something about the situation just lifted his spirits up a bit more. He wasn't sure if it was the weight disappearing from his being as he spoke and ran, or if it was just his famous emo mode running its course. If so, then it ran its course unusually faster than normal. 

He seemed to have surprised Akaashi though, and after a few seconds, Bokuto grinned."You're being very senpai-like right now, Akaashi-senpai." 

Akaashi's eyes widened and Bokuto watched a pink hue tinge his cheeks. He thought it cute before it disappeared slowly and Akaashi contorted his face into something more neutral. Yet, a smile remained on his face. Then, Akaashi faced forward again, looking at the river. "I see you've brightened up a bit." 

"Yeah, somehow!" Bokuto kept his grin and puffed his chest out. "I don't know what happened, but thanks, senpai!"

"I didn't do anything, Bokuto-san."

"Nope, you did a lot! I'm not sure what exactly, but you jogging with me and listening helped a lot!" 

"Is that so…" 

"Yep! And now my dreams are clear again! To the nationals! To win them all! And to be like your ultra-cool captain!" 

Akaashi's smile turned into something like a smirk. It wasn't offending though; Bokuto felt it was competitive and supportive. "Nationals huh…" Akaashi drawled out. "I'll be looking forward to the coming years then."

Bokuto couldn't help but puff his chest out again, excited for the future to come. "Please do!" 

* * *

They spent a few more minutes on the bridge, as Bokuto talked Akaashi's ears off with his life in middle school and comparing their experiences. Eventually, as the sky gradually darkened, Akaashi offered to bring Bokuto to the nearest station and pay for his ride. However, Bokuto refused and instead asked to be brought to somewhere with a payphone so he can call his mother. 

Akaashi refused and instead brought him back to his school. They came just in time for the younger to watch the last dregs of volleyball practice, which happened to be a practice match. Akaashi convinced his coach to let Bokuto use the office phone, and let Bokuto stay and watch as he waited for his mother. Bokuto was all too happy to watch and even get to talk to the "ultra special badass but plain captain." 

(Thankfully, the captain was touched by the middle schooler's admiration and not offended by that one word.)

Bokuto felt that his mother came too fast because the match wasn't even done yet. She came right when Akaashi was called to enter! Luckily, she let him stay as she made calls to his coach about the team's behavior or something (he wasn't listening, he stopped when she said "The coach agreed you can stay here, Kou. Behave yourself, okay? ")

Wide gold eyes focused on watching Akaashi, who was apparently the only freshman newbie, launch a setter dump with a blank face like it was nobody's business. He got swept up in the cheers of the highschoolers, and joined in the garbled cheering of his fellow sweaty teenagers. All the while, his eyes followed Akaashi, and sometimes the captain who flew so high and his back looked so cool. 

Akaashi wasn't doing stuff like spiking much since he was still bandaged, but he did do some gentle yet perfect sets. (He heard something from the coach about how Akaashi wanted to show off, but Bokuto wasn't sure.) He didn't stay long in the game though as he entered as a pinch server towards the end of the game. Yet, Bokuto couldn't keep his eyes off him, even if he wasn't a star player per se. He was important to the game even if he didn't do flashy stuff like fly or spike hard, and seeing how he worked enraptured the middle schooler. 

Akaashi's team lost by three points, but nobody was mad. He watched everyone cheer and congratulate one another, then break into groups or into their own solo thing. 

Funny though, nothing was awkward. Those who went off alone didn't look shun out, and those in groups didn't look scary or mean like some of his teammates. 

When Bokuto's mother called him to leave, he gave the coach a big hug and then the plain looking captain. Everyone laughed at him and gave him little head rubs, and he relished how he didn't feel ridiculed all the while. He gave Akaashi the biggest hug, though! Akaashi didn't hug back, but he did pat his back and he had that pink on his face again, which was more than Bokuto could hope for. 

Bokuto went home feeling still kinda down, but lighter and better than he ever felt in a long time. The next day, his teammates apologized for their behavior, and he called on whatever courage he had to phrase his feelings as best as he could. He promised Akaashi he would try after all! 

And well. He's glad he did! He doesn't think these teammates of his will be people he'll see in high school even after their shared apologies, but he's glad to talk to them like… like this before he got to go. Somehow, even if things feel weird now, he's thankful for them and all they've done nonetheless. 

Bokuto graduates middle school with barely passing grades and a few medals here and there. He got a special mention for his contributions to the volleyball club and a lot of applause. He grins and puffs his chest all the while, feeling the muscles he's worked on during self training show through his posture. 

Nobody in his school knows where he's going for middle school, but everyone's heard of all the schools that offered him a scholarship for volleyball. Some of them are big name schools around Tokyo, while some are more spread out across Japan. Bokuto's mother was ecstatic about all the flyers she's gotten in the mail, but she didn't want to choose for him. "It's your choice, Kou, and I'll support you all the way!" 

* * *

When Spring came, Bokuto stepped foot in Fukurodani's gyms, noting how nobody looked familiar except for the coach. The coach had the freshmen fall in line as he called on the vice captain to facilitate introductions, because the captain was out in a meeting. Bokuto's eyes widened at the familiar face that seemed sharper from when he last saw it. 

"My name is Akaashi Keiji, second year, and I'm the vice captain. It's a pleasure to meet you all." Akaashi nodded to them collectively and continued, "Freshmen, please come forward and introduce yourselves and state your goals."

As each freshman spoke, familiar blue-green eyes widened at the wide grin Bokuto sent his way. He felt his grin grow wider when Akaashi huffed in amusement. 

Then, it was his turn. He fixed his posture, took the deepest breath he's ever taken, and thought back to a few months back. He took in his feelings, and realized in this gym (and in front of this person specficially), he didn't feel stuff like loss and loneliness and all the other stuff that made his head spin and chest ache. Instead, he felt light, if not a bit heavy on his feet that just wanted to run and jump and just move. 

He opened his mouth wide and grinned. Then, he exhaled and:

"Bokuto Koutaro, first year, and my goal is to win nationals! And be the best ace and the coolest captain there is! It's nice to meet you all!" 

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like bokuto and akaashi were slightly OOC here, but I'd like to think that if their ages were reversed, things would be different. I think Akaashi would be slightly more talkative especially to a kouhai, and Bokuto would be a bit more lost and expressive!
> 
> I hope yall enjoyed this. thanks for dropping by!! <3 hmu on twt @/sagikaashi!


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